Friday, February 4, 2011

Cabin Fever

We've been snowed and iced in for the past few days, and I have to say that I am really starting to get cabin fever. Our house isn't very big, and aside from chores, there isn't much to do, so when we are forced to spend a lot of time in the house, a few things happen: the laundry gets done, the dishes get done, we watch an unhealthy amount of television, and we find excuses to go to the store. Yesterday, my two oldest children and I went to the store to get stuff for my daughter to make her valentines for the upcoming Valentine's Day festivities at her school. If we weren't snowed in, would valentines have been cause to make a special trip out twelve days before Valentine's Day? I highly doubt it, but we needed to get out of the house, so we went.

Once we got to the store, it took about five minutes to have everything we needed for Valentine's Day, so we decided to just walk around and look at stuff. With two small children, the obvious place to kill time is of course the automotive department. Just kidding. We went to the toy department. We stopped in each aisle for a few minutes to peruse the assortment of colorful playthings. I loved watching their eyes light up as they moved from one item to the next. I remember being a kid and doing this same thing with my parents. I loved imagining the things I could do with those toys. I would have so much fun playing with this or running around with that. I used to do the same thing when the Christmas catalogs would come in the mail. I remember being kind of sad that my parents couldn't afford to buy me many of the toys I spent so much time looking at. I knew they loved me, though, and I never did anything but love them for what they did provide for me.

Having said all of that, there was still a moment when my son had spotted something he really wanted- a Power Wheel four-wheeler. I know he would love it because my parents have one out at their house that he loves to ride. He asked if I would buy it for him. I told him we couldn't afford it. I felt horrible. As a father, I want to give my kids the world, but in reality there is a very real limit to what I can provide for them. He asked why we didn't have enough money. This is when I really started to feel crummy.

I explained to them that we didn't have enough money because I am a teacher, and teachers don't make very much money. I told them I was sorry that I picked a career that didn't pay me enough to buy them all of the things they wanted. Some reading this might take that last sentence to be one of sarcasm, but it is not. I am a fairly intelligent man, and I began college with the intention of becoming a Certified Public Accountant because accounting was something I was good at, and it was a career in which I could earn a substantial salary. Life, however, does not always go the way we expect, and in my freshman year of college, I fell in love with two things: my future wife and English. I quickly changed majors and my new career was to become a high school English teacher. I did it because it was something I really liked and knew I would enjoy. I made the decision for my own enjoyment, which is why I felt so guilty about telling my kids I couldn't afford to buy them the things they wanted.

I didn't feel crumby for long. My kids immediately said, "That's okay, Daddy. We love you." Then, I remembered something else from my childhood. My dad was my hero, no matter what. I never thought less of the man for not being able to buy me all of those toys. If anything, it made me appreciate it even more when he and my mom were able to buy us a really extravagant item. In fact, shortly before I was born, my dad left a career that he really enjoyed and was very skilled at doing in order to go work in the factory in which he still works to this day because it provided a more dependable source of income. I always regretted that my dad had not followed his heart because he felt the need to make money for me.

So, that is how I came to an understanding about the love between parents and children and the nature of sacrifice in the middle of the toy department on a snow day. I promise the next post will be funny again.

30 comments:

  1. Very sweet and very true. So many parents will not be truthful with their kids about the money status of their family or they buy the kids everything even if it overextends them. Two things happen from that, there is resentment from the first one wondering why they weren't good enough to get certain things or they become those kids who don't understand the word "no" and thus have issues with money all through life. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule, but this is an excellent story of being a wonderful parent that will produce excellent kids. Then again, I am kinda biased being I am one of the two things you fell in love with all those years ago.

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  2. You've got some excellent kids. You're totally right about the sacrifices that teachers sometimes have to make, but the perspectives you offer and the nature of your work are giving your kids something much more valuable than a Powerwheel. My wife has decided to be a stay at home mom until our youngest in in school, so I'm supporting four people on a teacher's salary. All the sacrifices have been worth it.

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  3. I totally understand what you mean and think I've had that same conversation with Chase. The way I choose to think about it is this: 1) I'm teaching Chase to value things more - we set goals or save money to earn some of those bigger things he wants. He's starting to understand that we have to work hard for the things we want and that we don't just get them on command. I honestly feel this is such a valuable lesson for him to learn. In addition, I constantly remind myself that along the same lines as "a happy wife is a happy life", the happier I am at my job, the better my mood at home. I've had jobs that I took for the money, and hated myself for it. I came home stressed and grumpy, which was not good for the family. So even though being a social worker fiscally pays less, it feeds my soul and fulfills me which makes me a better wife and mother. Chase will then likely be more compelled to pick a career he loves, rather than one that will bring in the biggest bucks. I think it's all in what we want for our family, but I think I've chosen well for my family, as you have for yours! ~Terra~

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  4. Very nice comment, Terra. I too believe that my kids will get more from me if I am happy in my professional life than if I am miserable but can afford to buy them everything they want.

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  5. i hated being stuck inside the whole week. I missed being at school actually. I found like every excuse to just leave the house. One day i left just to buy a cake mix, if i hadnt have been stuck at home i wouldnt even of considered goin out. It did give me alot of time to spend with my son, so that i really enjoyed.
    Alexis Daugherty
    6th Hour

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  6. well That is really sad but true. I totally understand how you feel. My mom cant provide everything for us but then agian I understand. Money doesnt grown on trees and good jobs that you love are hard to come by. All the jobs you love aren't good paying jobs which makes life so much harder than it has to be. People print and make money right? Why cant the government just print enough to pay off everyones debt even America's and give everybody raises? Then all parents could buy their children what they need and want.

    6th hour
    Brandy Foley

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  7. Well when i was little i was the sixth of seven kids. My parents always told us that we have to earn what we want in life and that we have to respect and take care of the things they get us. I do take what my parents get me for granted, they buy me very nice things and anytime i ask for something doesn't matter what it is they will get it for me. I respect my parents though and would never want to do anything that would upset them, i have learned alot from being the sixth child. My brothers and sisters gave my parents a run for their money! Callie(my twin sister) and I have definitely tried to make my parents proud of us! I Think we have deserved everything that my parents give us and we are also very thankful for my parents because they work so hard to give us a good life!
    Katie Keys
    6th Hour

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  8. I think going the way with teaching was the right decision. You went with the career that makes you happy and that shows your children that they need to do what they want in life, because if they're not happy, then everyone around them is miserable as well.
    -Chandler

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  9. That sounds like it would be horrible i cant even stand to sit at home on those snow days sometimes misweel wasting ur free time. and i deffinatly agree with chandler teaching was the right decision because like you said today your only going to be happy doing something you like and if you dont want to be happy doing that thing ur not going to be and your going to make it misserable for the people with and around you.
    Cameron Malone

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  10. Mr. Ogle!
    First off, you need to definitely update your adventures in fatherhood. I feel like with your big move and everything that you possibly have alot to talk about and haven't got back into the blogging vibe! Please start blogging again though!
    Andreanna Smith
    5th

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  11. I have also made a decision that I want to go to college and major in Early Elmentary Education. I know teachers dont make much moeny, like you said. I would love this job though. And if my kids are going to be like me, they would be happy that i loved my job too.

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  12. I totally understand this, Mr. Ogle. My older sister has 2 children and she is 17, she made mistakes but she wishes she could give the world to her kids. I love taking them shopping and seeing there eyes light up when they see the toys but it brakes my heart to know they probably wont be getting them, not now atleast. Things got better, for my sister.. Her and her boyfriend just bought a house and have 2 full time jobs and the kids have a lot more, which makes me happy. :) Your kids are the cutest kids ever, and they have really good parents.
    -Maddie Johnson
    Creative Writing

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  13. I love being snowed in about as much as i still enjoy my princess barbies. I buy as many blankets and pillows as i can around every November. This year's lack of snow was the worst thing since global warming (pun). I had a new king sized Beatles fleece, a moose pillow pet, and the Mummy trilogies preped and ready to go. But in the end they still get folded at the end of the bed, stare from the lot of various stuffed animals, and sit on a shelf next to an African Worry Doll waiting for the day when snow will once again rise above five inches and the world is right.

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  14. I like how you say with two small children the obvious place to kill time is the automotive department. That is pretty funny, kind of sounds like me in a way I tried to get my little brother to go with me to the automotive department and look at cool car stuff but guess where he wanted to go...the toy aisle! He screamed until I gave in. I think a lot of kids have parents that want to get them the world but really can't and I had that when I was little also, instead of getting a ton presents I would get only one or two presents and I would be sad for a while then I eventually tried to forget about it later.

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  15. I'm glad that you became a teacher, not only because you're exellence at it and actually do enjoy your job but also because it's something that you actaully wanted to do. Not many people would have stuck with teacher because it doesn't pay much. You should always do what you love. You wouldn't want to be miserable doing something that pay more but hate it.

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  16. At any type of the day would I like to be couped up in my house. My house is so boring, I live in the country and HATE wasting my gas. It's kind of like a pet peeve. So I like to use my mom's car and waste her gas. Everyone knows I hate driving in town for useless things. So usually everyone knows that they should offer me gas money since gas is not cheap. I thought it was funny how you and your children went to walmart to waste time. That's what my sister and I do when we are really bored.

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  17. I hate being in my house for more than a couple of days at a time because i usually run out of things to do. I have also just gone into to town to waste time.

    Danny Allanson 1st

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  18. Cabin Fever.... I am the first to tell you about my hatred for staying home at an extended amount of time. I am pretty well grounded at the moment, so I've trained myself to cope....somewhat. That's beside the point however, that's not what I came here to talk about. I wanted to make note of the obvious and inspiring passion I see from you everyday. Whether it be a lecture on how we're failing ourselves or simply going over a lesson, it's obvious. I can only imagine the emmense amount of love and passion you have for your family. If it counts for anything, don't be so hard on yourself about "affording" this and that, who affords things anymore anyway? Every single person in this highschool needs to expirience the Ogle and his ways, and visit your blog. Even though my grades don't show it obviously, and I really want you to know it kills me that I'm way below potential because I only ever want to please my superiors, I learn more from you morally than any adult in the building. You are an inspiring person and make it hard for someone like myself to even begin to THINK about my future, let alone fatherhood. I'm rambling. If I could only invest the amount of time I put into instances like these into my responsibilities. It's an ongoing struggle with me and it's torture. All in all, your lessons make want to be better, and staying at home sucks.

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  19. Thanks for all of the great responses.

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  20. I really dont think that your kids love is based on your salary. im sure that they would forget about this extremely quick, and that they dont take sides or keep grudges. that is what is so great about being a child.

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  21. This is very touching. Your children are very smart and understand that toys are not everything. I think you told your child the right thing and the truth about why he cant have the toy. Being a parent and telling your child you cant give them something must be hard. I understand. In contrast i think that the best fun you can give you child is time with you. Thats where they really enjoy the little things in life. As will you when you open up and play with them. Its not the money that buys them happiness its yourself.

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  22. This was a really amazing story. I loved how detailed it was and interesting that I had to keep reading. I believe that your kids will always love you no matter what.

    AShley Doran 7th hour

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  23. It shouldn't matter what parents can buy their kids. It should matter if they love and actually care about them, and from this story you can tell that you really do care and love your kids. This is a really great story, that everyone can learn from.
    -Faith Fox 7th Hour

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  24. Staying in my house in not really a problem for me. I usually dont leave anyway because I cant stand to be away from my dogs for a long period of time. I also have everything I need at my house so why would I want to leave?
    Kaytlin Tague 2nd Hour

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  25. I used to do this as a child. Get bored at home and make excuses to leave. Anything to get out of the house. I even shoveled snow once.

    Steven Bracken
    6th hour

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  26. I always want to leave my house. My family is important to me and I will really miss them whenever I leave for college. I also like to leave the house because I get to see my friends. That is the best part.
    Marissa Langworthy - Creative Writing and Composition (2nd & 3rd hour)

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  27. I'll be another to admit that I, too, hate being inside for long periods of time. However, being snowed in and not having school were the best days ever. When I was younger, I went to my dads every other weekend as part of the agreement my mom and dad had after the divorce. So, when it snowed while I was at his house, he would drop everything so that we could go outside. My dad was amazing. It didn't matter if there were a ton of things he needed to get done, he made sure we had the time to go outside and make our snow forts, or snow angels, or even drive me around on the snowmobile. Those were always my favorite moments at my dads house. So getting snowed in was never a bad thing for me.
    Lindsey Pitts, 6th hour.

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  28. I believed you went the right way. You seem very compassionate about teaching. I want to become an elementary music teacher. I want to go for something that I think suits me best. I believe teaching music is exactly that.

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  29. I believed you went the right way. You seem very compassionate about teaching. I want to become an elementary music teacher. I want to go for something that I think suits me best. I believe teaching music is exactly that.

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  30. I aggravate my parents if snowed in because u insist on shoveling driveways to build muscles and earn money. They think should stay in and be safe but always help me with manning the phone for new jobs. I can't imagine not being able to get to town.

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