Wednesday, January 19, 2011

All I Wanted For Christmas Was My Sanity Back

I guess I should begin this post by explaining the lack of any new posts over the last several months to my vast and impressive audience. Honestly, my life just accelerated to the point that keeping up with my blog became impossible. The school year got into full swing, I was coaching junior high baseball, my wife was working full time an hour from our house (my job is about an hour from home, too), our youngest son was past the "easy" phase where you can just feed them and put them back to sleep, and I was spending most evenings and weekends as a single parent.

My days had become endless blurs of attending to the needs of others. As soon as I woke up (sometimes sooner), I would have three children relying on me to get them ready for the day. There were breakfasts and lunches to be made, kids to get dressed, bottles to make, diaper bags to pack, diapers to change, and that is on top of getting myself ready to go. During the commute, I usually tried to wake myself up while answering an endless barrage of questions from the backseat assuming I wasn't mediating fights over the color of the sky or which town we were in. Once I got to work, my day as a teacher consists of dealing with the attitudes, insecurities, questions, and needs of around 130 teenagers. One thing I think a lot of people don't realize about teaching is that there is no fifteen minute break as a teacher. Every forty-three minutes, there is a four minute passing period and a fresh set of eager minds walks through the door in various combinations of eager curiosity and righteous indignation. Immediately after work, I would drive back across town to pick my daughter up from school, listen to her talk about her day all the way to daycare to pick up the boys, and then the questions and arguments of the morning commute were resumed. Once we got back home, I immediately made my way to the kitchen to throw together something that vaguely resembled an adequate dinner (mostly) and then begin the battle of "But, Daddy, I don't even like this stuff!" The complaints I got at home were very similar to the ones I got at work now that I think about it: "But, Mr. Ogle, I don't even need this stuff!"

After dinner, it was time to get everyone bathed (assuming it was bath night), into pajamas, my daughter's homework done, break up fights over toys not being shared or air being recklessly breathed, and finally to bed. By the time all three kids were in bed, I was so exhausted, both physically and mentally, that the idea of reading a book or writing a blog or anything other than staring mindlessly at the television for a couple of hours until I collapsed was ridiculous.

Each day, I could feel my patience for my children and my students wearing thinner. With every passing week, my enjoyment in life diminished. I tried not to complain or think about it too much, because there really didn't seem to be much point; there was nothing anyone could do for me anyway. It all finally came to head on Christmas Eve at my parents' house. As is the case with most family gatherings, there were a lot of people having a lot of different conversations all over the place. There were kids running around all over the place. The noise and chaos level in the house was at a ridiculous level, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the guest room and closed the door just to keep my head from exploding. My wife came looking for me. We talked and decided that something needed to change. I felt selfish for wanting to have some time to myself to do what I want to do. She made me realize that in order for me to be a good father, husband, teacher, I have to make time for myself. I have to allow my own battery to recharge and my own needs to be addressed.

Luckily, this meltdown also coincided with my wife making a career move to begin working as the school nurse at my high school. This would mean that we would be able to work together to take care of the kids before and after work, which would be a huge load off of my shoulders. My wife also agreed that it would be a good idea for me to take one night a week to leave her at home with the kids and go spend a little time taking care of myself. I am happy to report that this is one of those outings. So far, I have gone to a movie by myself, taken my wife on a date, and today I am sitting in a peaceful coffee shop writing this blog. With any luck, I will be using my "free time" to come up here once a week to write. This blog has become the most enjoyable hobby I've ever had, and I look forward to getting back to it. So, in spite of getting a Wii, and my wife claiming my sweet Droid X as a Christmas gift, the best thing I got for Christmas was given to me on Christmas Eve and wasn't even wrapped. My wife gave me the gift of my sanity. Thanks, Lady.

16 comments:

  1. Oh your wife...this is just one more example of how she is a saint and makes me want to be a better person. Almost cried reading this, Nate. Good job putting into words what all parents feel most of the time. Glad the blog is back!!!!! - Kristy

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  2. What a lucky man you are Mr. Ogle to have such an understanding lady in your life. I was wondering how you were able to keep all those plates spinning and not drop even one!! All this and trying to get your house ready to put on the market. (I know, she's doing most of that so far) Whew! I'm exhausted and I just live next door. =) MORE BLOGS--More BLOGS

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  3. You are giving me far too much credit. I love you too Mister! :)

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  4. Unless solitary confinement is your intended goal for your "me time", give me a call if you want to catch a movie or dinner sometime.

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  5. I have to say, just reading this blog was an emotional roller coaster. When i read this i felt like i was reading my own words, sometimes we all just need a break. So, kudos to your wife! Dont have too much fun in that coffee shop!
    -Chandler

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  6. i agree i ge thtat wasy sometimes i got to school every morning i go to football for three hours after school everyday i come home listen to my mom complain for an hour about how i do nothing when shes the one that just sits at home all day and then i shower and do homework til around 12 and i keep getting less and less sleep every nihgt and it just beccomes to much sometimes.
    Cameron Malone

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  7. I completely understand what you were feeling. I feel like that sometimes. It is so hard nowadays. To go to school, do homework, be in cheerleading and the play, be a choreographer for mayfete, and somehow still have a social life outside of all of those things.

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  8. I think we all have known or know what you were feeling like before you got your sanity back. It's really hard sometimes to take time for yourself, whether you are a teacher, student, parent, or a friend. Between going to school, helping my parents watch both my younger siblings, being in a numerous different clubs at school, and trying to juggle all my schoolwork; sometimes it is very hard to try and find time for yourself. We all just need to take some time for ourselves.
    -Faith Fox, 7th Hour

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  9. During the Summer time i feel like my life gets this way. working from 8-5 every day then going out to my dads and thern working till 11 that night. It gets tough at times trying ton wake up and go to work. But it's something that needs done every week.In the off season we get some what of a break but with stripping the car down and sending all the pumps and motors off. Once that is done then we have to put it back together which is a long process. So the off season is much needed for my dad and I to kind of catch our breathe and have a little relax time
    -Garrett Aitken

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  10. Life can get very crazy at times. I think it is very important to take time off for yourself. Going from school, to basketball practice, to extra curricular activities, doing your homework, and then waking up and doing it all again is very stressful. It's very hard to stay clam and not go insane. Every now and then I think we just need to stop and take a breather for ourselves.
    -Lydia Switzer 1st hour

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  11. I can relate to this blog because I never ever make time for myself. In the mornings I attend school, then I go to my volunteer job. After that I normally go home and get ready for work at McDonalds and work until 10 pm. Some nights I even have to stay awake late in order to get all my homework done. There have been days where I have lashed out on people because I am just so exhausted. To fix this problem, I changed my availability to make more time for myself and to get the rest I need.
    - Chelsea Allen 2nd hour

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  12. Reading this has given me a new found sense of respect for you Mr.Ogle. Although my situations are not are serious or consecutive as yours, i can relate to needing time for myself. Everyone needs time to not think about anything and just relax. You are a man with a amount of patience that cannot be described. I envy your patience and persistence to keep your life organized and happy for others. Just remember that your the reason why your family keeps from falling apart, so credit goes to you Mr. Ogle and always enjoy your time for yourself. Lane Tessman 2ndhour

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  13. I see. I’ve always thought differently than this. I, myself, prefer the insanity of constant work. The barrage of questions would corrode my thoughts, the constant need for me here and there would steal the day away, and the rest would simply tire me to the point of passing out(which is my prefered way of falling asleep). If I let myself rest, I overthink things. I go into a world of “what if” or “we are not even specs in this vast universe” and questions of the like. If I was given a day off, (I throw my weekends and time to helping my grandparents and their friends[A never ending job, thank god]) I would probably be driven insane, if I am not already.

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  14. I'm working on my sanity. It doesn't work all the time but I'm trying. I have finally found people to help me when I need it.

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  15. Sometimes I enjoy the craziness of holidays with my big family because my nieces and nephew love spending time with me. I guess they look up to me and I need to be a good example for them. Sometimes I would rather go to my room and nsp, especially after a big dinner, but they don't understand.

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